Visual Field Test – Modern Day Arcade Game?

Disclaimer:  At this writing, I am in no way receiving compensation or renumeration  from the Visual Field Test Group/Atari Group Ltd…this is a post that is purely for comedic enlightenment.

As I left my eye appointment yesterday, I couldn’t help but think how lucky I am to have such a good optometrist. Or is he an opthalmologist? At this writing, I am not clear about the distinction between them…… if I capitalize each one, (1) OPTOMETRIST and (2) OPTHALMOLOGIST, which one is clearer to you?  Is it number 1 or number 2? And now if I put them both in bold (1) OPTOMETRIST or (2) OPTHALMOLOGIST…..which one is clearer? Ok, I am probably beating a dead horse here….figuratively of course, as I don’t presently own any horses..so let’s move on. You get the point. Giddy up…..(AIM).

Based on our family history of glaucoma, Dr. Epstein likes to monitor my vision on a regular basis. This included administering a diagnostic test called that  a Visual Field Test on my last appointment.  (AIM)

So what is glaucoma?  So glad you asked, it will help this post.  Now I am not a doctor, or an eye doctor for that matter, and I do not play one on TV (despite a few failed auditions).   According to my team of researchers (actually it is just me; I am the CEO,CAO,COO of Alan MacVicar Blogs),  glaucoma is a group of eye conditions that can lead to loss of vision and blindness.  It’s caused by fluid building up in the front of the eye, which damages the optic nerve that sends images to the brain.  It can affect people of ALL ages, but most common in adults in their 70’s and 80’s. (AIM)

Wow, Alan, did you just get real serious there?  I thought this was supposed to be funny!  Or do you think glaucoma is funny?  You’re sick and twisted!  Just read on please….(AIM)

If you haven’t had this test before, you are in for a treat. This test is painless for the eyes but it is mentally exhausting. It is a test to assess your peripheral vision and is one of the screening tests for glaucoma.  With one eye covered  with a patch (feel free to speak like a pirate here….Aye matey!),  your chin is then extended forward to rest on a hard plastic ledge.  With the other uncovered eye, you stare into a bowl shaped screen to locate a bright orange light in the middle of it. (AIM)

And by the way I would discourage you from trying to continue to chew gum while the test is being administered. Now in my particular case, the technician didn’t specifically tell me not to do this because, well, they just assumed they didn’t have to…fyi, if you’re worried about your breath, I would just suggest something with much less jaw movement, like a tic tac.  (AIM)

So as you are intently staring at the bright orange light in the middle, you press a button when you see blinking test lights (both bright and dull) that appear throughout the periphery of the screen. Every time you see, or think you see one of these peripheral lights, you are instructed to push the button. I found some of them very easy to see – especially at the beginning of the test. But as the test drags on….and on…..they become harder to pick up, especially the ones that are not as bright.  (AIM)

It can be drudgery to sit through the test ..it is tedious and tests your ability to concentrate.  And you feel that you can’t blink just in case you miss one of the flashes.  It’s like this for the entire 6 minutes..3 minutes an eye.  I realize that I am being a bit melodramatic here……..there are far worse things to sit through; like a root canal, an amputation of a limb, or sitting through (WARNING SPOILER ALERT)  the entire 6 seasons/121 episodes of ‘LOST” only to figure out that they were all dead in episode 1 of season 1..(AIM)

Last year,   I had the good fortune of having to sit through the Visual Field Test TWICE  during the same appointment  because there was a ‘glitch’ with the first test. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  I felt like I needed a nap when it was over!  I get it though (you’re probably thinking, but do you Al?  because it kinda sounds like you don’t), it’s an important screening test and if it keeps my eyes healthy, I am happy to do it.  (AIM)

In addition to the eye and brain fatigue, your mind starts to wander during this test, too.   And play tricks on you, too. Was that a flash? Hmm, not sure….maybe it was? But now it’s gone….but should you still press the button because you think you saw it? But that was over 2 seconds ago….ok, just go ahead and push the button anyway…and now there’s another one out there….out there mocking you, tormenting you, daring you to push that damn button….and then you just start pushing the button rapid fire.. (AIM)

Could the flashes have triggered flashbacks from the 70’s and 80’s from time well  spent in the arcades?  Perhaps.   Frantically pushing away at the VFT button, you are magically transported back to the games you loved playing as a kid.. games such as Galaga, Centipede, PacMan,  Asteroids and many others  that were a quarter per play.  These games were the original Visual Field Tests.  And the goal was always the same…to get the all-time high score.   Or at least a bonus round/free play.  (AIM)

If you ever achieved this honor, or even cracked the top 10 scores of all time, you got to enter your name….well, part of your name or your initials, as you were limited to a max of 3 letter…and then you would have achieved video game immortality!  (Of course it didn’t stop some gamers from being crude and entering ‘inappropriate ‘ 3 letter names…will not elaborate here as you can probably come up with some of your own).   And when people saw these 3 letters, they would know immediately who you were, right?  In my case, I desperately wanteed to enter ‘AIM’ on ANY of the games ……and I was sure that people would easily recognize it as Alan Ian MacVicar…..I could hear it in my head…”Hey!  I know that guy!  He sits next to me in English class!”.. But try as I might, I never made it.  (AIM)

And then you are snapped back to reality when the technician tells you the test is now over…but how cool would it be if you had the top score of all time at Limestone Eyecare in the Visual Field Test?  And you got your picture up on the wall wearing your new progressives with custom frames flashing the finger guns or throwing up the double thumbs?  And with your 3 initials ……..AIM…under your photo?  (AIM)

Ok, maybe that’s just my distorted daydream….but it would be fun to capture the video game glory and fame that eluded me over 40 years ago now.  (AIM)

So next time you have to sit through one of these Visual Field Tests, just think you are destroying asteroids, aliens, and apparitions (minus the 80’s video game sound effects) that were part of my world growing up.  But this ‘video game’ will cost you more than a roll of quarters….and it should.   Trust me, if it helps me keep my vision for as long as possible, it is worth it.  (AIM)

So visit your local optometrist/opthalmologist near you and see if this test is right for you.  Wow, that is sounding like a pharmaceutical promo – apologies.  Hopefully this post  will shed some light, or flashes, on the Visual Field Test for you in the future. Thanks for reading this post – until next time!  (AIM)