Dude, Where’s My Car?

I was confused when I returned to my parking spot at the Royal Bank parking lot. I had just finished my workout at a gym across the street called the Iron Pit (fitting name for a gym, don’t you think? ) and I was looking forward to a nice relaxing evening. It was the end of May, 1995. My fiance was out for the evening at a bridal shower and I was on my own for the rest of the evening. However, where my 1990 Acura Legend Coupe had been parked before now had a Ford Taurus in its spot. So strange. How could this be? Had it been towed away? Seeing that the bank had closed hours earlier and there wasn’t any metered parking, this couldn’t be the case.

As I frantically fished around my pockets for my keys, my confusion slowly morphed into nausea. I dropped my workout bag to the pavement and frantically rummaged through the bag’s side pockets before dumping all of its contents onto the pavement. No sign of keys anywhere.

I raced back into the gym’s locker room and frenetically looked through the locker that I had used. No dice. I scoured the weight room, the washroom, and the lobby for good measure but still came up empty. Even if I did find them, it wouldn’t have explained my missing car.

And then I realized that I had to make the call…I called my wife at the bridal shower to give her the news. “Hi honey….how are things going there? Really? Nice! What’s that, you’re just opening gifts right now? Ok, I won’t keep you but I just wanted to let you know that my car has been stolen….it’s not funny honey….no really hun, this is not a joke, my car has been stolen..”

To this day, not sure if this was what one would call “nervous laughter” or if it was genuinely funny to her. Either way, I was distraught and needed to start figuring out how this happened and what I needed to do to get my car back.

When I notified the police, I was met by a somewhat ambivalent detective who after hearing of my dilemma, told me that it was probably a couple of local kids looking for a joyride. They would probably, in his exact words, ‘drive the snot out out of it’ and abandon it somewhere in town. I think he thought he was reassuring me that everything would be fine but I felt even worse after speaking with him.

After notifying the police, I had to secure a rental through my insurance company; still remember the insurance agent stating that the ink probably still wasn’t dry from the purchase a few weeks earlier. I didn’t laugh. Why does everyone think they are a comedian in times like this?

I also tried to retrace my footsteps that night to try and figure out where I lost my keys in the first place. And then I figured it out; I must have left the keys with the Acura logo lying on a bench beside the locker I used. In a renovated basement gym called the Iron Pit that had previously been a strip club called ‘Saints and Sinners’. Hmm.

And then there was the cache in the car – a veritable treasure trove for the car thief(ves). In addition to having a new pair of Serengetti sunglasses that were a gift from my fiance, I also had a box full of wedding invitations for our ceremony that was coming up in a few months. Talk about having a road map for future crimes…literally. Of course these invitations included a date and a time for the wedding as well as a map to get to the banquet hall for the reception.

Over the next few days, I conducted some unofficial, non-sanctioned searches in town in my rental 95 Monte Carlo that also had a fair amount of giddy up. I drove up and down the streets of Kingston, scanning side streets, parking lots, and driveways looking for the second love of my life (Lisa, I know you are going to read this…) I was frustrated and angry; someone or someones (is this a word?) had stolen from me and I felt violated.

During this time and futile search, I also felt a bit irresponsible. Really??? Yes, I didn’t feel like a mature adult who was about to get married in less than a couple of months. How could I be a good father? Would I just leave a baby behind in a stroller or a car seat at the mall? Or at the bowling alley? Egads!

My anguish was further compounded by the fact that the stolen car was ‘financed’ by my future father in law, Ossie. You have all probably heard of the 80/20 rule by now. Well in this case, he paid for 80 percent of it and he loaned me the other 20 percent.

When I/we bought it, it had 112,000 kilometres on it but the previous owner kept it in immaculate condition. All the service records were up to date and not a hint of rust to be found on the body. It was cherry red, had a sun/moon roof, and was an automatic. It had amazing pickup and was a smooth ride which made my 2 hour daily commutes very enjoyable. It was a far cry from the family car I grew up with – a sub-compact clown car known as the Chevrolet Chevette that accomodated our family of 6. So needless to say, I loved driving this car….and I missed it.

I felt that I had let Ossie down when this happened – without him, I wouldn’t have had this vehicle in the first place and I wanted to show him that I was a responsible adult that would soon be marrying his daughter. For better or worse…..

Well after a few days, my car was found. A homeowner had called the police when my car had been abandoned in their driveway …minus the designer sunglasses and Acura nameplate on the trunk. And just as the jaded detective had predicted, it looked like the ‘snot’ had been driven out of it – with a nice collection of food wrappers, doughnut crumbs, and cigarette ashes strewn across the front console. I had never been happier…….until of course my wedding day…….

After a few cosmetic touch-ups, I had my 1990 Acura Coupe back and all was well with the world. Go figure, although they dusted for fingerprints, they never did catch the culprits that took my precious car for a ‘joyride’.

I had that car for another 5 years and loved every minute of it. It was hard to part with it but we were starting a family and needed something more practical at that point. However, I will forever hold a special place for this luxury sports car and look forward to seeing one and perhaps driving one again in the future.

And one final fun fact here…..30 years later and I still work out (albeit at a different gym now; the Iron Pit eventually succumbed to the same fate as the strip club and closed up shop). However, I make it a habit that I ALWAYS keep my keys in my workout bag that is next to me at all times during a workout.

I’m also happy to inform you that after raising 3 children, I never lost any babies. I did lose a car seat once in the Toronto Airport but that’s as close as it got!

Thanks for reading my blog and hope you have enjoyed it – until next time!

Al