How to Enjoy Grocery Shopping…More?

Hello again,

Feeling the writing vibe so I’m going to keep this writing train moving…..choo choo! (Seeing that trains are not propelled by steam anymore this gratuitous sound bite is outdated but please play along and don’t disembark from the metaphor).

FIrst of all, you are probably asking yourself, “did I read the title correctly?” And …”is Al crazy?” The answer to those 2 questions is ‘yes’ and ‘maybe’. Not sure if anyone in the history of the world ever enjoyed going grocery shopping….from the days of being a hunter and a gatherer, or making a long arduous trip to the vendors of the village market, or to the modern day grocery store chains like Kroger, Costco, and Loblaws (yeah Canada!). In a word, or two words, it sucks. We usually try and pawn this task off to our significant other if we can but this is not always possible. Sometimes we have to man up, or woman up, and take our medicine. Buckley’s.

What’s the big deal anyway? Besides running into that neighbor that never shuts up, or you get the cart with the bad wheel, or you piss off a store employee who is stacking shelves and you need something RIGHT where he is….and I mean you need it RIGHT at that moment and it CANNOT wait, and next thing you know they’re calling security to the rice and pasta aisle because things got a little testy between the two of you…..

At times, my stress levels almost rise to the level of when I am checking in for a flight at Toronto Pearson Airport, which by the way was voted as one of the worst airports in the world. Yay Canada again! For example, there’s a new philosophy and mantra that is alive and well when it comes to these grocery chains…”Let’s do less…..charge more….and if you don’t like it, shop somewhere else”.. This slogan is always bouncing around my brain as a long lineup forms behind me at the checkout because I am also supposed to bag my own groceries in this new age we live in. And if you don’t bring your own bags, the store will happily charge you for one AND you still have to bag the groceries yourself.

I have only just scratched the surface here as I could go on and on about the joys of this weekly or even daily experience in some cases. You too may have many stories to tell as well about life in the grocery aisle trenches – food shopping is not for the faint of heart. Am I Right?

So at this point, you are probably thinking….”Al, was your title just click bait? Are there ANY suggestions you will pass on that will make this cluster a little less painful and a lot more enjoyable? Al? Are you there? Tell us for Pete’s sake!”

Well, I’m not sure who Pete is but I will share a few tips with you so on your next mission to your local grocery store, you may not lose your marbles. First tip…wear ear buds so you can listen to your favourite podcast or music – you will find that you are in your own little world…perfect. Or better yet, noise reducing ear phones like you are landing planes on the tarmac, even if they don’t work. This way, people won’t bother you and might even get out of your way if they see you coming. And if you mumble to yourself while you’re wearing them I GUARANTEE you that you will not be bothered. Who knows, maybe they will even bag your groceries for you too!?

Another ‘strategy’ is to make a game out of it. And who doesn’t love a good game every once in awhile! For example, today when I was food shopping I set a timer on my phone for 36 minutes before embarking on my solo mission. The goal was to obviously beat the clock by getting everything bought, packed into my bags, and loaded back into the car before the timer went off. Would you believe that I ‘won’ the game today? Yay me! I’m the best!

One final strategy (sorry, this is all I could come up with) is to order your groceries ahead of time and either pick them up or have them delivered. To be honest ( because I don’t like to lie) I have yet to try this method but through my anecdotal research I hear this is a game changer. New year, new me they say…and they say a lot of things…..but maybe, just maybe , I take the plunge and try this method out.

Well, it’s come to the end of my post – I have the sudden urge to watch an NFL playoff game again after my team (Pittsburgh Steelers) was trounced just 16 hours ago – I promised myself I wouldn’t watch another game until the Super Bowl but my promises to myself are merely suggestions sometimes.

Until next time….thanks for reading!