Put a Shirt On!

I used to run bare chested. I don’t anymore and if you are a man, I suggest you don’t either. Not sure how you feel about things here but I can unequivocally say that no one needs to see your man boobs flopping around as you run down the street. I will now double down.

The only times this would be appropriate would be if (a) you are running on a beach (b) you are lounging around the pool or (c) you are fleeing your mobile home meth lab with the popo on your tail. Yay science!

Even if you are in relatively good shape, no one – especially women – will admire your sweaty physique as you run around the block. But most times, you are not in good shape and you are delusional. It’s like you have an inverted fun house mirror in your bathroom that displays a chiseled bod with 6 pack abs.

There was a time in my life when I thought it was perfectly normal to run without a shirt on outdoors. It must have been quite the sight. You see, I had a chunkier body at the time and it would be safe to say that I had ‘pendulous’ breasts. And by the way, do you ever see that adjective paired with any other word other than breasts? And why would you, because it perfectly described all the swinging that was going on from my pectoralis fun pack. It was ghastly – but yet, I didn’t see it that way because as alluded to earlier, I was in my own fantasy land. I was surprised no one yelled from their passing vehicles for me to put on a ‘mans-eer’ or a ‘bro’ – I am sure this was origin of the German word for bra – ‘Keepsthemfromfloppin”…….

As I conclude my PSA, please know that I do appreciate a good physique. As we age, it is easy to give in to the temptation of couch surfing, potato chip bingeing, and hanging out at the local bingo hall. So, I applaud you for fighting the good fight and trying to lead an active and healthy lifestyle. But for the love of all things good and kind, put a shirt on next time you go on a run – the world thanks you.

As always, thanks for reading!